2025-5-1

Day: Legs

Shutoff at around 9 last night. Woke up at 4, watched random stuff to prevent myself from thinking about anything until 7, then fell asleep again. Lifting is the only way I have to deal with this right now, probably just gonna keep it up until I go home and hopefully it fixes itself.

Went to the apartment gym again for legs late at night. Almost at the point where I think I can do around 90% of the weight last summer. Empty gym, good music, therapeutic lift.

Due to start the cut tomorrow. I should be more excited but I’m kind of conflicted. I know what it took last time, and this time I’ll have to go harder. Gonna be spread out over a longer time frame, so I’ll have to be dialed in for as long as it takes. Planning to get a food scale next week and learn at least 1-2 recipes before heading back home.

I think it’s gonna be good for me. At this point just need something that consumes all of my energy so I can forget about everything else. At the beginning I just wanted to have a good physique. Physique doesn’t matter much. 99% of the time only I see what it looks like, the other 1% is when I walk around back home without a shirt on. There’s really no reward in the end. I’ll just have something to look forward to when I wake up.

To better days ahead…